The Key to a Successful Life

You have to know where you came from before you know where you are going.

This week I listened to an interview on CBC (the Canadian Broadcast Corporation) with one of the founders of Peace by Chocolate a successful chocolate-making company in Nova Scotia. The conversation was about the rebel uprising in Syria and its future now that Bashir Assad, the heinous dictator who has left this beautiful country in ruins and murdered millions of its people. He has escaped to Russia the only country that would protect such a person. As the interview was nearing its end, Tareq Hadhad, whose father was a famous chocolate maker in the city of Damascus had his factory completely demolished by Assad’s thugs in 2012. Tareq’s father and other family members fled to Lebanon for three years where they lived in a refugee camp until they were finally invited to come to Canada under the sponsorship of a dedicated group from the small town of Antigonish in Nova Scotia. As the conversation came to a close, Tareq shared with us the quotation at the top of this post given to him and the Hadhad family by his grandmother. To find out more about the success of Peace By Chocolate and their plans for the future you can click on the link below. peacebychocolate.ca. However, be prepared! You might want to buy some of their chocolate to help in their quest to promote peace throughout the world.

The above quote by Mr. Hadhad’s grandmother struck a chord with me. Now that I am retired and in my 70’s, I have had more time to reflect on my past and where I am today. His grandmother’s words are absolutely true. How we handle our past on our life’s journey as a human is the foundation for our future success. Knowing and accepting our past whether it was good or not is to me like building a house with a firm foundation. If it isn’t a strong one it could crumble causing us to get stuck somewhere along the way. The house with a firm foundation will outlast the poorly built ones, and be a blessing to those who live in it. Likewise for us humans lucky to have a family who provided us with a firm foundation, we had the privilege of all if not some of the following:

  • Being part of a strong family unit.
  • Feeling loved.
  • Feeling safe.
  • Taught to respect our elders.
  • To be responsible for our actions.
  • To tell the truth
  • And possibly more.

However, what if we didn’t have a firm foundation? Does this mean we will never achieve what we truly want to do with our life and never fulfill our dreams? Of course not. Many people were brought up under difficult circumstances, pursued their dreams, and achieved success. Think Elvis Presley and Marilyn Munroe. Both followed their dreams and gained fame and fortune. However, they were unable to handle their success which ended in early deaths for both. Tragedies like this can be traced back to coming from homes that in some way didn’t have a firm foundation for them to thrive in.

I am now racking my brain for those who may have been brought up in a house with a flimsy foundation who nevertheless became famous for what he/she was good at doing and went on to manifest a good life until the day they died. The first one who comes to mind is Wayne Dyer. He was born into a family where his dad was an alcoholic who deserted his family leaving his mother and siblings to fend for themselves. He spent most of his childhood in orphanages and was eventually adopted by a nice middle-class family. Despite his unsettled childhood, he went on to write more than forty self-help books and became a popular motivational speaker on PBS.

Many more celebrities grew up poor but nevertheless were very successful at carving out a prosperous living for themselves as well as a seemingly balanced life. Dolly Parten, Oprah Winfrey, Celine Dion and Shania Twain to name a few had to claw their way up to the top of the ladder with nothing more than good luck and a strong drive to succeed. Comparing them to other actors who came from rich backgrounds, I found it interesting that those who grew up poor remained frugal and spent their money wisely even after making lots of it and they also had good marriages. Many who were brought up rich gained success but didn’t fare as well in the marriage department.

Writing this post has reminded me that success in life is not based on what you do but more on who you are. It’s also got nothing to do with being rich. Sometimes the rich turn out to be more in the failure category especially if they were not brought up in a stable household and given a strong foundation. I was brought up by various relatives and one home which today would be called a foster home. There was not a lot of money in some cases but enough to get by. I learned to be frugal which has stood me in good stead. I have fulfilled my childhood dream of traveling to foreign countries giving me the best education about life and myself. Admittedly, I sometimes worry about whether I will have enough money to see me through to the end of my life. I know much of this worrying is coming from the state of our world these days but I am working on how to leave the worry behind and live my life as best I can. Quotes like the one above from Mrs. Hadhad, practicing mindfulness, keeping active with volunteering, still travelling although not as much, and connecting with my family are keeping my eyes and body moving ahead.

One last thing before ending this post, I want to thank the Hadhad family for all the good work they are doing with their Peace By Chocolate sales and their contribution to causes that are focussed on promoting peace in our world. I would also like to thank them for inspiring me write this post.

A Good Piece of Advice

I am not usually a person who seeks advice on how to make a decision about something I’m stewing over. I figure I can solve my own problems, thank you. Furthermore, I don’t appreciate people who don’t know me very well to offer their solution to my dilemnas. If I really need someone’s advice, I will ask for it. However, when I read today’s prompt to write about the best piece of advice I have ever had, I immediately thought of what my dear Aunt told me when I was preparing to leave home for a university where I would be living in residence while studying for a Bachelor of Arts degree.

We are going back to 1963 when leaving home to go to university was still a big deal. Many of us gals who were lucky enough to go beyond high school were going for an Arts degree with little thought of what we would do once we achieved that. Oh yes, I had a couple of ideas in mind such as teaching or social work and possibly even as a foreign diplomat. Unfortunately, at that time being a foreign diplomat wasn’t a job which wanted women unless she had very high marks. Sensing that I needed some advice on what to do with my undergraduate education, my aunt advised me that I had better not graduate with an MRS degree. “A what,” I asked? When she pointed to her fourth finger on her left hand, I got her message loud and clear. I will never forget that moment. Not only did I learn about a new kind of degree, but one which turned out to be the best advice I could have gotten. She wasn’t far off the truth as many of my friends and other classmates were engaged by their senior year. Nevertheless, it did bother me a bit because I worried too much about whether I would even have a date for the Senior prom.

Not forgetting my Aunt’s advice, I realised I had to pursue more than an Arts degree, so decided on a teaching degree. Then, after two years of teaching, I managed to save enough money to take a sabbatical for a year to fulfill my life long dream to travel. Along with two girlfriends, the three of us having graduated without rings on our fingers, we took off to backpack in the year of 1969/70 around Europe, Israel and Turkey on $5 a day.

Thank you dear Aunt Dee Dee for your support and guidance which was one of the best things I have done in my life.

Having It All

Is it really possible “to have it all”? From my own experience, I have never really wanted to have it all if it pertained to having material things such as lots of money, a big house, a late model, fancy car, a huge closet filled with designer clothes, travel to exotic places and staying in luxury hotels.

For most of my life, I have always been attracted to learning more about myself resulting in numerous courses (a major in psychology), workshops and retreats, books, and even sessions with good astrologers and psychics. From all of this, I have learned that if we want to have a good life where we can honestly say, “I now have it all” then we must take the time and work it requires to first learn who we are and accept the fact that we have imperfections but forgive that and try to make ourselves better.

If we can do this and get to know, accept and love ourselves, then we have a better chance of bringing more abundance into our life such as more money, loving relationships, a happy family, or whatever else you might want that will ultimately make you happy. Fame and fortune as we all know don’t always guarantee a peaceful and happy life. Having it all for me is about love of self and others which I know is the way to achieving a sense of peace about myself. It also gives me a purpose for being on this earth at this time because if I can spread positive energy to all those people I meet then I’ve done something worthwhile. Just think what kind of world we could have if more people could change their focus on not gaining more material things but those things we can only see if we open our hearts to love rather than fear and hate.

It can be done but it won’t be easy because it will take changing how we have been taught to be be, think, and love which we are now realising is why our world is in such a mess.

Daily writing prompt
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

Taking A Risk

What constitutes a risk you might ask? For me it’s about doing something that could be done on the spur of the moment when suddenly I get a notion that this seems right. I guess you would call it a knowing that comes from inside you and not from the outside as on a dare or because someone has said you should do this or that. For some people taking a risk could be carried out after thinking about what they must do to attain it. That would be called a calculated risk. However, most people tend to risk doing anything because they overthink it. I have discovered that the more I think about doing something that could be risky, the less successful it has turned out.

A risk to my mind is doing something new which you haven’t done before. There is usually some fear attached to it. It could be something like jumping off a diving board into the water for the first time or climbing a mountain. Or how about crossing a street in Viet Nam where the rules around traffic and giving way to pedestrians are non-existant. I have been to this country and will never forget the first time there in Hanoi when I had to go outside my cozy hotel room and face the main round about in the centre of the city to get to the nearest coffee shop. As I waited with a couple from Britain on the curb hoping the onslaught of motorbikes would slow up and give us a chance to cross, it finally dawned on me that I had been warned about Viet Nam’s chaotic traffic but never did I think it would be like what I saw. Finally, I looked at the English couple and said, “Shall we go”? They looked at me in agreement. We stepped out into the traffic and just kept walking but keeping our eyes looking forward to the curb ahead. To our amazement, the traffic seemed to gracefully manoeuver their way around us allowing us to reach the other side safe and sound.

This was a risk to my phyical body and one I won’t forget. When I think about what risk is all about, I realise I’ve taken many in my life. In fact, doing anything new could be called a risk. My most recent risk was one I took last August when I volunteered to take on the responsibility of managing the community garden where I live. This garden was founded about fifteen years ago by a woman who saw a vacant piece of land which she wanted to make into a community garden for the residents and a nearby elementary school. Last year she decided to retire after suffering various health problems forcing her to neglect the garden. Unfortunatly, no one responded to her reaching out for someone to take it over for her. Since I was renting a plot there, I took the risk of saying that I would try to fill her shoes. I have to admit I gave it about a week’s thought before I made the committment. I had no idea what lay before me which is probably a good thing. If I had known how much of my time it would take to get the garden back into shape, I probably wouldn’t have taken on the responsibility. Now as I look back over the last eight months, I am happy to say that it’s been successful for me. I have learned how wonderful it is to work with a team of gardeners which has given me a useful purpose for being here on this planet. I feel like I am helping this community to pull together. Four of us who have formed a committee are working hard as a team which is more than enough to say in all honesty that taking the risk when no others would has paid off in spades for me. I have learned more about myself and others than I ever could have by taking the risk of reviving a dying community garden.

Daily writing prompt
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?

My Main Complaint

I really don’t think I am much of a complainer but, hey, I am not perfect nor is anyone else on this earth so we all will find something to complain about. I would say that the thing that really gets me upset and puts me into the complaint mode would be my cell phone.

I have a Samsung- Galaxy 12 which can really drive me crazy at times. It has become my main camera for taking the pictures for my blog posts. Someone stole my trusty old Canon digital a few years ago and ever since I have been struggling to understand the camera on my new phone. It’s so sensitive to the point that if I don’t hold it the correct way, it simply won’t take the picture that I so desperately need such as people pictures. It’s embarrasing to keep my people grinning so valiantly while I wrestle with focussing my picture. I can’t help complaining about it and sometimes cursing it to the point I want to throw it away. I had a Zen phone before which never gave me this problem. Sorry Samsung, but that is the truth. I have consulted their manuel which I don’t find very helpful most of the time. What this all boils down to is that my complaint is almost always got something to do with my devices. The companies that make them keep coming out with new versions which are supposed to make our lives easier. I can’t accept this for one moment. I see it all as a way to lure us into buying the latest model so they can make more money. To make matters worse, they don’t even give us a proper manual that fits the model we might have so we are left having somehow to figure it all out on our own. Friends who have Iphones tell me I should switch over and get one of them. I would consider that suggestion if I had an Ipad or MacIntosh but I am hooked into Microsoft on my computer.

Could that would solve my problem? If anyone has experienced this problem with incompatible devices, I would appreciate hearing from you.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What do you complain about the most?