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The Risk I Have Never Taken

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Daily writing prompt
What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
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Throughout my long life, I have managed to take quite a few risks. For me, a risk was doing something different from the norm. When it came to style and the latest fad, I never got too excited about them. However, what did turn me on was the opportunity to travel away from home, my province, and my country. Listening to my heart instead of my head and what my family or friends thought I should do, I took off for Europe with a backpack for a year of travel. When I decided to retire from work, I made a conscious decision to travel in earnest again to explore the other side of the world, namely Asia.

I have visited more than ten countries in Asia and Southeast Asia. I liked them all except for India, which I found very challenging. Thailand has taken first place in capturing my attention. After sixteen visits over the years, it’s not surprising that it has raised the question of whether I should move there permanently.

These days, there are many good reasons why it would be a good idea. The number one reason is that it would be cheaper than my home country, Canada. I also feel better physically when I’m there, living with the sun practically every day. Then there are the Thai people who are so accepting of foreigners. For example, I don’t feel any judgment. They accept us and greet us with smiles, no matter how much of a nuisance some of us might be. These are just some of the reasons I would like to live there.

So why do I hold back from moving there? Is it a fear of having to make such a major move on my own? Yes, it is because I have made so many moves over my lifetime. I am now a homeowner and living on my own. I like my life and know I could sell my house with no problem. It’s the packing and having to get rid of my furniture and all that other stuff I’ve collected over the years. Then there is the problem of language. Most Thais know some English, but not enough to have deep conversations. There are many expats living in Chiang Mai where I go, but do I want to just hang out with expats? I would like to make some Thai friends, but to do that I would have to learn the Thai language which isn’t easy. Learning a new language isn’t one of my strong points.

Honestly, my main reason for not taking this risk is my age. I should have done it earlier when I first began to consider the idea. I don’t think I will regret not taking the risk. Life where I am right now is good. It all boils down to no matter where you decide to live, you can always make the best of what it has to offer.

Facing Hard Work

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What a person considers as hard work means different things to different people. Hard work for me is having to face the challenges that my computer and cell phone give me. Why I say this is because they demand too much of my time trying to figure out how to deal with the latest changes being made, such as deleting unwanted emails trying to sell me something I don’t want, having to deal with changing my password because someone was trying to scam me, trying to figure out instructions Google gives to make changes to suit them, and finally the worst one of all is the help that the chat box wants to give me. I don’t trust them since I used one that tried to lure me into signing up for a membership which cost me money. I got it back, but it took time to contact my bank to have it cancelled. This was stressful and what I consider hard work.

I am over the age hill when it comes to all the stuff going on in our new world of technology. It’s coming to the point where I can easily spend the better part of a day dealing with it all, which stresses me out. I can’t do those things that give me satisfaction instead of grief. However, knowing it’s something I can’t avoid, I grit my teeth and tackle them hoping for the best. I have discovered that in the end, most things work out in my favour, but getting there is always scary and a battle for me.

When I get my bills paid or find the information I need, I feel a great deal of satisfaction. I can at last breathe a sigh of relief and set my sights on doing something I enjoy which is often usually something physical like tending to my vegetable garden or going for a walk. Everything does happen for a reason, I guess. I can’t give up no matter how difficult that may be.

Why I Love Cats

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I’ve been a cat lover and owner for most of my adult life. I’m not sure why that is but it could be because as I was growing up, we had cats for pets. The only person close to me who ever had a dog was my grandmother. She had cats, too, but I never got too attached to them since they were outdoor cats and most of them got hit by cars. In those days there was no such thing as a house cat. Her dog also met an unfortunate death when he was killed by a pack of wild dogs one winter. Although I was saddened by Patch’s terrible demise, I didn’t quite miss him as much as the cats who got hit by the cars passing in front of our house.

When my grandmother died, I moved to the city where we were brought up by our Aunt who was like a mother to me. She loved cats and always had one. That was when I learned so much about cats and their behavior. In fact, one of the first presentations I had in Grade 9 was all about Ginny our cat. Ginny came to her when he was a kitten but she thought he was a female so that’s how he got his name. Ginny had no tail so we thought he was a Manx. He could have been but he might also have lost his tail from some kind of accident. We didn’t know so he got stuck with a female name. He was an extremely friendly cat and was always there to meet the kids after their classes at the school which was just across from our house. He was in our lives for a long time entertaining us with his antics. I can’t remember how he died but have a hunch it was because of old age. By the time of his demise, I was no longer living at home.

The next cat to enter my life after I got married and before my daughter was born was another stray who just appeared one night at our New Year’s Eve party. Our house was packed with people and I was too busy making sure everyone had food and drink that I never noticed him until someone asked when we got this cat who was making friends with everyone. What cat I thought? We don’t have a cat. Well, the next day we decided to keep him if no one came to claim him. No one did come so we named him Pogo. He was a tabby and so clever. In fact, his character was almost dog like. He loved people and followed us around like a puppy. He was also easy to train and loved to play games. My husband had him jumping and doing all kinds of things a dog would do. For example, he would walk along the beach with us. When he came to some water, he would simply walk around it and continue to walk on with us. As you probably know, cats don’t like water like dogs do.

He was also a very sensitive cat. I always felt he was reading my mind. After our daughter was born, like any new mother, I put most of my time on her and didn’t pay as much attention to Pogo as I used to. One night, he came to our door looking rather ragged and limping. We assumed he had been hit by a car. We quickly bundled him and took him to the vet where he had a pin put into his back leg joint. After that incident, he was never the same. He seemed to be fading away. About the same time, I happened to catch an interview on CBC with a pet psychologist from New York who was talking about cats and their sensitivity. It caught my attention when he explained that bringing a baby into the household, your pet could resort to extreme behavior, such as injuring itsel,f just to get attention. My mind flashed back to his accident two months previously, when he came home dragging his leg behind him. I was the cause because I had abandoned him. At that time, I was following Dr Spock, many mothers’ guru for bringing up babies, who cautioned us to never let a cat sleep with your baby. That old wives’ tale has since been abolished.

I would like to have a cat these days because I live alone. However, so long as I keep travelling for months at a time, I won’t take on that responsibility. It might be good for me, but not for a cat. I’ve learned my lesson.

Being Inspired By Chiang Mai’s Changing Culinary Scene

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What more can I say about Chiang Mai without repeating myself when this is my sixteenth visit to this city? Those of you following my travels and reading more than a dozen posts about this popular city in Thailand would probably ask the same question. I have been asking it since my arrival almost two months ago and was about to give up on writing anything this time around until today. So what ignited the spark for me to sit down and begin writing on the topic of pancakes?

Since Chiang Mai has been getting hotter and smoggier with each passing day and I have only a week left before I must head home to Nova Scotia where it’s freezing cold, I decided a few days ago I would get up early before the temperature hit the mid-thirties to find the restaurant that I used to go to for some delicious pancakes. I’ve hankered for a pancake breakfast ever since I’ve been here but I haven’t had much luck finding a restaurant in the neighborhood where I stay with pancakes on their menu. There are lots of good coffee and bakery cafes to supplement my yogurt and granola stash in the fridge of my tiny kitchenette to give me a healthy breakfast most days, but I needed a change. What I wanted was a good old pancake breakfast.

Why pancakes you might wonder? To begin with, the Thai love to satisfy their tourist tastes so there have always been some fairly good restaurants around to satisfy our American taste buds. I’ve had some delicious ones over the years on my visits to Chiang Mai but where exactly would they be now? The restaurant scene has changed drastically since COVID. Many of those I became used to over the years have disappeared or been upgraded into something new. Nevertheless, the one that kept coming back to haunt me was Good Morning Chiang Mai. So, I decided to check it out to see if they were still there and see if pancakes were still on their menu. Last year they were undergoing a massive renovation which looked like it was going to be what I would call a posh one. Would they still have their old menu with their delicious pancakes and if so would they be a decent price?

To make what could become a long story short, I found the place despite the confusing information Google Maps gave me. Using my instinct or intuition, I found the correct soi (side street) with the new complex which now consists of a hotel, a pool, an inviting garden, and a newly renovated restaurant. There was a menu outside the posh entrance which I opened with bated breath thinking the prices would be out of my reach and surely there would be no pancakes. When I saw they were still there and within my budget, without a moment’s hesitation I opened the heavy door and headed for a ringside seat by the pool. What a piece of good luck or was it serendipity? I felt like I had come home to something special which would be a memorable experience.

The presentation of my breakfast was another wonderful surprise. There they were…two good-sized pancakes with a variety of colorful fruits on the side. I tucked in eating as much as I could. They were melt in your mouth delicious but filling as pancakes can be. I couldn’t finish them so I discretely wrapped what was left in a napkin and stuffed them in my bag. I should also mention that my Americano coffee was also delicious.

Having eaten all I could, I decided to take some pictures of the premises. I had already taken one of my pancakes. Up to this point, I hadn’t taken much notice of the couple to the left of my table until the man got up to pay their bill while the woman waited for him on the bench by the door. When he reappeared, I asked if I could take a picture of them. I must add that this is not something I usually do but for a reason unknown, it seemed like the right thing to do. They were both happy to oblige. I never asked him if he was once a photographer but he certainly went at it like a professional. After shooting three of me, I called a halt knowing the fun he seemed to be having would end up as more. Furthermore, I sensed his woman friend was getting a bit bored with it all. In the meantime while taking the photos and for a short time after, I found out she was from the Philippines and he was from the northern part of Italy. Somehow, we got onto life in Thailand and how it was a great country for expats. He was especially forceful about how much I stood to gain by selling my house and moving over permanently when he found out I was from cold Canada. He had all the latest news about the changes for getting a six-month or a one-year visa initiated by the present government to encourage and make it easier for those who want to make Thailand their home. I won’t bore you dear reader with any more about our photo shoot and conversation but it has had an impact. Yes, I can honestly say it has inspired me to do this post for my blog. Perhaps it’s a beginning to determining where I go from here? One never knows these days, does one?

You can click on the pictures to enlarge and read the messages below.

The Key to a Successful Life

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“You have to know where you came from before you know where you are going.

This week I listened to an interview on CBC (the Canadian Broadcast Corporation) with one of the founders of Peace by Chocolate a successful chocolate-making company in Nova Scotia. The conversation was about the rebel uprising in Syria and its future now that Bashir Assad, the heinous dictator who has left this beautiful country in ruins and murdered millions of its people. He has escaped to Russia the only country that would protect such a person. As the interview was nearing its end, Tareq Hadhad, whose father was a famous chocolate maker in the city of Damascus had his factory completely demolished by Assad’s thugs in 2012. Tareq’s father and other family members fled to Lebanon for three years where they lived in a refugee camp until they were finally invited to come to Canada under the sponsorship of a dedicated group from the small town of Antigonish in Nova Scotia. As the conversation came to a close, Tareq shared with us the quotation at the top of this post given to him and the Hadhad family by his grandmother. To find out more about the success of Peace By Chocolate and their plans for the future you can click on the link below. peacebychocolate.ca. However, be prepared! You might want to buy some of their chocolate to help in their quest to promote peace throughout the world.

The above quote by Mr. Hadhad’s grandmother struck a chord with me. Now that I am retired and in my 70’s, I have had more time to reflect on my past and where I am today. His grandmother’s words are absolutely true. How we handle our past on our life’s journey as a human is the foundation for our future success. Knowing and accepting our past whether it was good or not is to me like building a house with a firm foundation. If it isn’t a strong one it could crumble causing us to get stuck somewhere along the way. The house with a firm foundation will outlast the poorly built ones, and be a blessing to those who live in it. Likewise for us humans lucky to have a family who provided us with a firm foundation, we had the privilege of all if not some of the following:

  • Being part of a strong family unit.
  • Feeling loved.
  • Feeling safe.
  • Taught to respect our elders.
  • To be responsible for our actions.
  • To tell the truth
  • And possibly more.

However, what if we didn’t have a firm foundation? Does this mean we will never achieve what we truly want to do with our life and never fulfill our dreams? Of course not. Many people were brought up under difficult circumstances, pursued their dreams, and achieved success. Think Elvis Presley and Marilyn Munroe. Both followed their dreams and gained fame and fortune. However, they were unable to handle their success which ended in early deaths for both. Tragedies like this can be traced back to coming from homes that in some way didn’t have a firm foundation for them to thrive in.

I am now racking my brain for those who may have been brought up in a house with a flimsy foundation who nevertheless became famous for what he/she was good at doing and went on to manifest a good life until the day they died. The first one who comes to mind is Wayne Dyer. He was born into a family where his dad was an alcoholic who deserted his family leaving his mother and siblings to fend for themselves. He spent most of his childhood in orphanages and was eventually adopted by a nice middle-class family. Despite his unsettled childhood, he went on to write more than forty self-help books and became a popular motivational speaker on PBS.

Many more celebrities grew up poor but nevertheless were very successful at carving out a prosperous living for themselves as well as a seemingly balanced life. Dolly Parten, Oprah Winfrey, Celine Dion and Shania Twain to name a few had to claw their way up to the top of the ladder with nothing more than good luck and a strong drive to succeed. Comparing them to other actors who came from rich backgrounds, I found it interesting that those who grew up poor remained frugal and spent their money wisely even after making lots of it and they also had good marriages. Many who were brought up rich gained success but didn’t fare as well in the marriage department.

Writing this post has reminded me that success in life is not based on what you do but more on who you are. It’s also got nothing to do with being rich. Sometimes the rich turn out to be more in the failure category especially if they were not brought up in a stable household and given a strong foundation. I was brought up by various relatives and one home which today would be called a foster home. There was not a lot of money in some cases but enough to get by. I learned to be frugal which has stood me in good stead. I have fulfilled my childhood dream of traveling to foreign countries giving me the best education about life and myself. Admittedly, I sometimes worry about whether I will have enough money to see me through to the end of my life. I know much of this worrying is coming from the state of our world these days but I am working on how to leave the worry behind and live my life as best I can. Quotes like the one above from Mrs. Hadhad, practicing mindfulness, keeping active with volunteering, still travelling although not as much, and connecting with my family are keeping my eyes and body moving ahead.

One last thing before ending this post, I want to thank the Hadhad family for all the good work they are doing with their Peace By Chocolate sales and their contribution to causes that are focussed on promoting peace in our world. I would also like to thank them for inspiring me write this post.