The Key to a Successful Life

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“You have to know where you came from before you know where you are going.

This week I listened to an interview on CBC (the Canadian Broadcast Corporation) with one of the founders of Peace by Chocolate a successful chocolate-making company in Nova Scotia. The conversation was about the rebel uprising in Syria and its future now that Bashir Assad, the heinous dictator who has left this beautiful country in ruins and murdered millions of its people. He has escaped to Russia the only country that would protect such a person. As the interview was nearing its end, Tareq Hadhad, whose father was a famous chocolate maker in the city of Damascus had his factory completely demolished by Assad’s thugs in 2012. Tareq’s father and other family members fled to Lebanon for three years where they lived in a refugee camp until they were finally invited to come to Canada under the sponsorship of a dedicated group from the small town of Antigonish in Nova Scotia. As the conversation came to a close, Tareq shared with us the quotation at the top of this post given to him and the Hadhad family by his grandmother. To find out more about the success of Peace By Chocolate and their plans for the future you can click on the link below. peacebychocolate.ca. However, be prepared! You might want to buy some of their chocolate to help in their quest to promote peace throughout the world.

The above quote by Mr. Hadhad’s grandmother struck a chord with me. Now that I am retired and in my 70’s, I have had more time to reflect on my past and where I am today. His grandmother’s words are absolutely true. How we handle our past on our life’s journey as a human is the foundation for our future success. Knowing and accepting our past whether it was good or not is to me like building a house with a firm foundation. If it isn’t a strong one it could crumble causing us to get stuck somewhere along the way. The house with a firm foundation will outlast the poorly built ones, and be a blessing to those who live in it. Likewise for us humans lucky to have a family who provided us with a firm foundation, we had the privilege of all if not some of the following:

  • Being part of a strong family unit.
  • Feeling loved.
  • Feeling safe.
  • Taught to respect our elders.
  • To be responsible for our actions.
  • To tell the truth
  • And possibly more.

However, what if we didn’t have a firm foundation? Does this mean we will never achieve what we truly want to do with our life and never fulfill our dreams? Of course not. Many people were brought up under difficult circumstances, pursued their dreams, and achieved success. Think Elvis Presley and Marilyn Munroe. Both followed their dreams and gained fame and fortune. However, they were unable to handle their success which ended in early deaths for both. Tragedies like this can be traced back to coming from homes that in some way didn’t have a firm foundation for them to thrive in.

I am now racking my brain for those who may have been brought up in a house with a flimsy foundation who nevertheless became famous for what he/she was good at doing and went on to manifest a good life until the day they died. The first one who comes to mind is Wayne Dyer. He was born into a family where his dad was an alcoholic who deserted his family leaving his mother and siblings to fend for themselves. He spent most of his childhood in orphanages and was eventually adopted by a nice middle-class family. Despite his unsettled childhood, he went on to write more than forty self-help books and became a popular motivational speaker on PBS.

Many more celebrities grew up poor but nevertheless were very successful at carving out a prosperous living for themselves as well as a seemingly balanced life. Dolly Parten, Oprah Winfrey, Celine Dion and Shania Twain to name a few had to claw their way up to the top of the ladder with nothing more than good luck and a strong drive to succeed. Comparing them to other actors who came from rich backgrounds, I found it interesting that those who grew up poor remained frugal and spent their money wisely even after making lots of it and they also had good marriages. Many who were brought up rich gained success but didn’t fare as well in the marriage department.

Writing this post has reminded me that success in life is not based on what you do but more on who you are. It’s also got nothing to do with being rich. Sometimes the rich turn out to be more in the failure category especially if they were not brought up in a stable household and given a strong foundation. I was brought up by various relatives and one home which today would be called a foster home. There was not a lot of money in some cases but enough to get by. I learned to be frugal which has stood me in good stead. I have fulfilled my childhood dream of traveling to foreign countries giving me the best education about life and myself. Admittedly, I sometimes worry about whether I will have enough money to see me through to the end of my life. I know much of this worrying is coming from the state of our world these days but I am working on how to leave the worry behind and live my life as best I can. Quotes like the one above from Mrs. Hadhad, practicing mindfulness, keeping active with volunteering, still travelling although not as much, and connecting with my family are keeping my eyes and body moving ahead.

One last thing before ending this post, I want to thank the Hadhad family for all the good work they are doing with their Peace By Chocolate sales and their contribution to causes that are focussed on promoting peace in our world. I would also like to thank them for inspiring me write this post.

A Good Piece of Advice

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I am not usually a person who seeks advice on how to make a decision about something I’m stewing over. I figure I can solve my own problems, thank you. Furthermore, I don’t appreciate people who don’t know me very well to offer their solution to my dilemnas. If I really need someone’s advice, I will ask for it. However, when I read today’s prompt to write about the best piece of advice I have ever had, I immediately thought of what my dear Aunt told me when I was preparing to leave home for a university where I would be living in residence while studying for a Bachelor of Arts degree.

We are going back to 1963 when leaving home to go to university was still a big deal. Many of us gals who were lucky enough to go beyond high school were going for an Arts degree with little thought of what we would do once we achieved that. Oh yes, I had a couple of ideas in mind such as teaching or social work and possibly even as a foreign diplomat. Unfortunately, at that time being a foreign diplomat wasn’t a job which wanted women unless she had very high marks. Sensing that I needed some advice on what to do with my undergraduate education, my aunt advised me that I had better not graduate with an MRS degree. “A what,” I asked? When she pointed to her fourth finger on her left hand, I got her message loud and clear. I will never forget that moment. Not only did I learn about a new kind of degree, but one which turned out to be the best advice I could have gotten. She wasn’t far off the truth as many of my friends and other classmates were engaged by their senior year. Nevertheless, it did bother me a bit because I worried too much about whether I would even have a date for the Senior prom.

Not forgetting my Aunt’s advice, I realised I had to pursue more than an Arts degree, so decided on a teaching degree. Then, after two years of teaching, I managed to save enough money to take a sabbatical for a year to fulfill my life long dream to travel. Along with two girlfriends, the three of us having graduated without rings on our fingers, we took off to backpack in the year of 1969/70 around Europe, Israel and Turkey on $5 a day.

Thank you dear Aunt Dee Dee for your support and guidance which was one of the best things I have done in my life.

I Am So Excited

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“What was the last thing that got me excited?” I must admit there hasn’t been much to get me excited lately. Nevertheless, as soon as I read today’s prompt, my first thought went to Kamala Harris’s acceptance speech and the joyous reception it got from all those who were there to be a part of what could become one of this century’s most historic events.

I actually felt my adrenalin rising causing chills throughout my body and my heart to flutter. Mind you it was all in a good way. Most of the time when I hear the latest political news about my country, Canada, and that of so many other countries around the world, I am left with a sense of despair.

Kamala, as we have come to call her, has to be one of the bravest people on the planet to take on the job of winning over the confidence of her fellow Americans especially those who support her opponent. Somehow, she must gain the confidence of all of those who feel left out, such as those of colour, new immigrants, the poor and disadvantaged, the youth who are now able to vote, and those who have been so discouraged they have given up voting.

She faces huge challenges more crucial than anything her predecessors have. Never has there been a woman President of the US one of the most influential countries in the world. She will somehow have to address much of the mess that she has inherited from those before her. Let’s face it! Never have there been so many wars going on all over the world at the same time. Never has the world had to face a rapidly changing climate and how to deal with it. Never has our world been faced with having to change almost everything we have ever known, such as our past beliefs, old traumatic experiences, and outdated customs to name a few. We are being forced to make changes to our thinking and old habits so quickly. We can’t do it on our own so we need strong and open-minded leaders to help take us on this journey. It truely is boiling down to a matter of survival. I am feeling confident that Kamilla is the kind of leader we need: a beacon of light we will need to begin the process of making our world a better place to live in.

Daily writing prompt
Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.
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A Persistent Travel Bug

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The travel bug hit me as far back as grade school in grade five to be exact. Yes, in those days we had geography as a subject and I can still remember the countries our book took us to. Japan was my first choice followed by Australia and Peru.

Fortunately, I am happy to report that I did visit Australia in 2018. Their strange animals and birds and the outback were the main attractions for me. I was also curious to see how similar we Canadians were to the Aussies and discovered that the most we had in common was we spoke the same language. I have never been to Peru but did get close when I visited Equador in 2016. Now what about Japan? Thanks to an eight hour layover at the Narita airport on my way home to Canada from Thailand in 2010, my husband and I decided to take the train from the airport to the town of Narita. We could have gone further into Tokyo but knew that it would be impossible to see much in such a large city except for hoards of people..

All told we had about six hours to tour this typically Japanese town. We were there in early April when the cherry trees were just beginning to show some pink. It took me back to one of the pictures in my geography book. When I look back on that day, I am flabergasted at what we managed to cram into those hours.

After warming ourselves up with a coffee at a MacDonald’s, we headed for the centre of the town and came across a large temple which fortunately was open so we were able to go inside. Japan as we know is famous for their temples. After roaming around the gardens with bonsai trees and other strange plants, we were fortunate to meet two lovely ladies from the Chamber of Commerce all decked out in their traditional kimonos. They had no trouble convincing us that we should come with them to take part in a typical Japanese tea, all for free. They insisted that I try on a traditional bridal kimono and took our pictures which I have packed away somewhere. As we continued our tour around the town, I was astonished at how clean the streets and sidewalks were, even the alley ways. There was not a bit of litter anywhere. I don’t remember there being much traffic. It was all so quiet and there was classical music playing on every street corner. We felt very welcomed by all those we met. One man we met on our walk recommended a restaurant where we could have a typical Japanese lunch. Although our waiter didn’t speak much English, he was fun and tried to be very helpful about putting together a typical Japanese plate of sushi accompanied by some saki to wash it all down. However, although the soy bean dessert was ornate and looked delicious, I wasn’t too keen on it.

By the time we had finished, we had just enough time to get out to the airport for our flight home. I didn’t want to leave and ever since I often think that I ought to make this my last country to visit before my travelling days are over. I know it will be an expensive trip, but if I start saving now maybe I can make it. Kyoto here I come! I watched “Somebody Feed Phil” on Netflix recently who took us to that city’s culture and food. It took be back to my one day visit to Japan and my dream as a grade school student that Japan was my first choice for countries I wanted to visit.

Daily writing prompt
What countries do you want to visit?
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Having It All

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Is it really possible “to have it all”? From my own experience, I have never really wanted to have it all if it pertained to having material things such as lots of money, a big house, a late model, fancy car, a huge closet filled with designer clothes, travel to exotic places and staying in luxury hotels.

For most of my life, I have always been attracted to learning more about myself resulting in numerous courses (a major in psychology), workshops and retreats, books, and even sessions with good astrologers and psychics. From all of this, I have learned that if we want to have a good life where we can honestly say, “I now have it all” then we must take the time and work it requires to first learn who we are and accept the fact that we have imperfections but forgive that and try to make ourselves better.

If we can do this and get to know, accept and love ourselves, then we have a better chance of bringing more abundance into our life such as more money, loving relationships, a happy family, or whatever else you might want that will ultimately make you happy. Fame and fortune as we all know don’t always guarantee a peaceful and happy life. Having it all for me is about love of self and others which I know is the way to achieving a sense of peace about myself. It also gives me a purpose for being on this earth at this time because if I can spread positive energy to all those people I meet then I’ve done something worthwhile. Just think what kind of world we could have if more people could change their focus on not gaining more material things but those things we can only see if we open our hearts to love rather than fear and hate.

It can be done but it won’t be easy because it will take changing how we have been taught to be be, think, and love which we are now realising is why our world is in such a mess.

Daily writing prompt
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
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