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Life Experiences Have Made Me a Better Person

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When asked which experiences in my life contributed to my being a better person, I realized what a difficult question that was to answer. The first thought that came to my mind was another question: Aren’t all experiences meant to make us better as a person whether they are good or bad? However, after giving it some more thought, I came up with two that had the greatest impact on my lifelong journey to becoming a better person.

The first one to come to mind was the birth of my daughter. After several years of teaching and some travel, I suddenly had the urge to have a baby. She decided to enter this crazy, mixed up world fifty-two years ago. She is my only child so I guess one could say that she was left with the task of living her life with her mom by herself without the influence of a brother or sister. I think this explains why she has been at times more like a mom to me rather than a daughter. Whatever I might think or intuit about this part of my life, I know for sure it was a huge turning point for me. For the first time I had to shift my focus on her and not on myself. I was responsible for her personal care and happiness as she adjusted to our world. She taught me what true love was all about. This was the beginning of my journey to becoming a better person. After a few years of married life and as a teacher of children at the age of ten years, I felt the urge to have a child of my own. Her arrival was a turning point for me. I know that many women, past and present, would agree that it’s not an easy job being a mother. All of a sudden, that little bundle of joy could turn into the most demanding little human you have ever encountered. No matter how much one may want to be a mother or what our own mother was like, it can be one of life’s most significant roles for us to play.

I had planned to take time off from my teaching career at that time to be a stay-at-home mom in a city where my husband and I had bought a house of our own. He worked in this city near his family, but my family and friends were scattered all over Canada, leaving me with little in the way of support. I had to learn how to look after a newborn baby on my own. In those days, husbands weren’t expected to play much of a role as a dad other than to provide their financial support by working at a job that really wasn’t their choice, as in my husband’s case. However, he did have his childhood friends and his family in that nearby town where he was brought up for his support.

My second life experience which helped me greatly in my self-growth was my choice and good fortune to have the resources to travel well before the birth of my daughter. It was a geography book in my fifth grade that captured my attention. I learned from it and my teacher that there was a whole big world out there beyond Nova Scotia where I was born.

While still in highschool, I did have the opportunity to travel to the province of Quebec and to New York in the US. After graduating from university, I immediately headed further west to Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia to establish a career for myself. After several years of teaching , I had saved enough money to buy a backpack to travel over to Europe and see some of this continent on $5 a day. I admit that I am lucky to have lived back in the day in the year of 1969 when I could live on this budget and it was safe to hitchhike a ride from friendly Europeans in France, Germany, Austria, and Greece. I wasn’t alone, but with four other girl friends. Two of us decided to keep going to the east into Asia, where we ended up on a kibbutz in Israel working as a volunteer.

My second life experience which had a great impact on my personal growth was when I decided to go into a semi retirement in my mid 60’s. By this time, I had moved back to Nova Scotia where I was born. My daughter was all grown up, working and enjoying a life of her own. Unfortunately, my first marriage to her dad didn’t work out. I was now with my second husband. Although we both were working part-time at various jobs, including some supply teaching for me, we both wanted to do some travelling. I was definitely wanting to see more of our world at this point in my life. And so we did until he didn’t want to go much further than Montreal where he was born, and to be near his family, who still lived there. We began to travel to different places of our choice which was fine with me but not so much for him. Our interests and what we wanted out of the rest of our lives were definitely different. For me the places and countries I have been as a solo traveller have become a way of life which has been very good for me in becoming more independent and becoming that better person. For him, he is near his family and has found a lady with a similar background to him.

In conclusion to this topic of bettering ourselves by taking the time to note which experiences we’ve had to do this, I have concluded that if we take the time to get to know ourselves, we will then find it easier to take charge of our life’s journey while on this earth and make the best of it.

The volunteers at the Naot Mordacai kibbutz 1969 where I volunteered.
My travelling companions on the island of Crete in Greese 1969

What Keeps Me Retuning to Chiang Mai in Thailand

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There are many reasons why Chiang Mai has become one of the world’s most popular places for tourists and expats. One post isn’t going to cover all of them, so I will start with those that keep luring me back year after year, except for two years: one during COVID and the other in 2016, when I went down to South America. This year is my 16th time here in Chiang Mai along with detours (often a visa run) to other places in SE Asia. However, Chiang Mai, the second-largest city in Thailand, has lured me back every 16th time. I really love the rection I get from many Thai faces when I tell them this.

Thailand is an easy country to visit, and Chiang Mai is a great place to find just about everything one looks for as a visitor in a foreign city: friendly people, delicious food, easy modern-day living, a warm climate, varied activities and sights to see, colourful festivals, and markets galore for shopping at reasonable prices. Whew! One can’t get bored in this city even after 16 visits. Of course, it’s by no means perfect. The traffic is heavy and noisy, but I give the drivers credit for watching out for us pedestrians. I feel safe walking here, so I use my feet to get where I want to go instead of relying on tuk-tuks, songtaos or a Grab taxi. Buses are almost extinct. Motorbikes and huge late-model cars seem to be the people’s choice for getting around the city. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that cars could be outnumbering motorbikes indicating that there is a fair amount of wealth in this city. However, this has led to more noise and pollution. When I first visited the city in 2008, there was a brave plan in progress to ban cars and trucks from the inner city which is encircled by a moat. A large number of residents tried to get the local government or council to have electric trains only to enter the city. There would be no huge cars cluttering the streets and better sidewalks for the pedestrians. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened and instead has put the city’s air quality up to the level of other large cities in Asia.

Honestly, I cannot think of any more negative things about Chiang Mai. I have written about the smog and pollution in some of my past posts. Scroll down to the bottom of this post for some of those if you want to know about the changing climate and what some have done to get the government to pay more attention to it. The weather seems to vary from year to year. Since I have been here this year, December and January have had almost perfect weather with cool nights and warm days (none above 30 degrees centigrade). There has been no humidity and no rain. It will no doubt get hotter as the days go by causing the quality of the air to get worse. In the past, by the time April rolls around, it’s unbearable at least to me. The weather in the dead of winter back home in Nova Scotia is another factor determining why I keep coming back in December, January and usually February. However, not this year, as I must return for other stuff I need to pay attention to. This year the weather has been horrible with rain, freezing rain and snow so far. Having the sun every day as I have had this year in Chiang Mai, has been the perfect medicine I have needed to sleep better and jump out of bed more quickly than I do at home. Oh, I must add that having at least seven coffee places around me for my morning coffee has helped also.

Another lure for me to return to Chiang Mai every year instead of some other country is the market scene which beckened me to start up a small business back home in Nova Scotia, Canada, selling clothing and accessories made in Thailand. My customers love the Harem pants and anything with elephants on it. This year, I am sensing a slight change in taste to anything with cats on it, which I hope will give the elephants some competition. I have been buying pants, shopping bags, and some other cute stuff which I am hoping will attract my customers back home. Over the years, I felt the need to keep this little business going to make a bit of extra money, which I have used to pay for my airfare over and back again. Therefore, it’s become safe to say that Chiang Mai has become like a second home for me.

I have often thought I should become one of the many expats who have made their homes here permanently. It’s not just about the friendly Thai people and living in a warm climate, but there are other benefits as well, such as a much lower cost of living, a good health care system, and easier rules for choosing to live here full-time. If you would like more information on the benefits of living in Chiang Mae that I put together several years ago, you can go to the following post Back to the “Land of Smiles” published in 2018. The cost of living has gone up slightly for food and beverages but nothing like what I am facing in Canada. Clothing is still a bargain, so I hope to keep my prices down at home for my customers provided the shipping charges haven’t risen too drastically. Rentals are holding steady. I am paying a wee bit more for a month at BhanPongPhen where I have been staying for the past four years. For about $415.00 a month I am getting a small apartment with a kitchenette providing a fridge and microwave, free internet, and weekly maid service. Most importantly, the owners and their maid are very kind and helpful. Mrs Pong (that’s what I call her) is always supplying me with delicious snacks and Om their maid does a super job at keeping my small apartment clean.

Yes, my life here is very good which makes it difficult to leave. Sooner or later I will have to make a decision on where I want to spend the rest of my days. However, I believe I should have made this decision in 2018 when I was younger. I’m not sure Thailand would want me now at the age of 80, a milestone I faced in August. When I tell a Thai person my age, I get a wonderful reaction because most 80-year-olds here aren’t travelling and doing the things I am doing. As their elders reach my age, the young are expected to look after them. Elder care is low on the list for any kind of government help.

In conclusion, although I have stuck to all the positives for Thailand and especially Chiang Mai, there are the negatives. They are covered in some of my previous posts so you can go to them if you wish.http://Sundays in Chiang Mai, Being Inspired By Chiang Mai’s Changing Culinary Scene.